Expectations leading to frustrations
By Keren Liew | Published on May 11, 2022
It is usually our own expectations which make a great impact on how we feel about certain things. A particular event could be so special to someone, but of no value to someone else.
For instance, a stalk of carnation might be thrown away by a lady who has received dozens of bouquets of roses, but that stalk of flower could be able to light up a grandma’s world. The lady might have received so many flowers before this, that a single stalk of flower does not really weigh a lot amid all the gifts she has received. On the other hand, the grandma might not have caught sight of a freshly wrapped bouquet of flowers, whereby receiving a stalk of the carnation could really be so meaningful to her.
Some might say that the lady does not appreciate things enough or say that the lady is so spoiled the times before that she no longer finds meaning in the precious little surprises now. However, before we judge the lady, maybe we could see things in terms of expectations, whereby the lady has expected more than a stalk of carnation as she has received beautiful bouquets of roses before. Grandma did not expect anything, bringing her such a pleasant surprise when she received the flower. There really is no right or wrong in this situation, and it all goes back to the expectations of the person.
At times, when what we’ve done does not match up with our expectations in the outcomes, it could get very frustrating. We might get to a point where we feel overwhelmed when our frustration does not seem to have a way out, or when our feelings are not validated in the ways we want. We might not be able to stay calm when we are at that state, whereby we feel like we are on that edge before we drown.
It is to be reminded that it is normal to feel so, and it is alright to feel so. In fact, do take a moment to really take in these strong emotions, to process the unpleasantness of being overwhelmed. When we feel like we are drowning, we need to remember to search for the floating log in the water, a lifebuoy or even hold the arm who is reaching out for us. They could be the blessings in life which we have not appreciated enough, and that’s what makes us feel the calmness we long for, and that is when we might be able to get out of the water and get on our feet again.